In the news today...
OXFORD, Mississippi (CNN) -- Here, in what could be called the Fort Knox of dope, under the gaze of security cameras and a blinking motion sensor, another scientist pries open the lid of a large cardboard barrel, opens a large plastic bag and digs his hand into the vat of meticulously manicured marijuana. This is the government's "cannabis drug repository."
How much would this be worth on the street? "A lot," he answers. But the security of the operation is of obvious concern. "Within this building right here, we have seven different alarm systems. We have camera systems. We have cameras in this room that are monitored by the Drug Enforcement Agency in suburban Washington”. And everywhere, there are locked doors. Keyed locks and push-button locks. Locks are as omnipresent as the skunk-like smell of raw marijuana.
…Editor Rozek’s Notes:…It’s a darn good thing that the government has this facility! Sometimes the Drug Enforcement agency doesn’t have anything to do. This ole “war on drugs” is silly. No one is doing drugs anymore. It was a fad! There is simply nothing to do! It is a far better use of tax dollars and trained drug enforcement security officials to be monitoring their own stash! When one of the officials was asked for comment, he replied, “…um…dude…there’s a lot of…um…stuff in here man…” Another said, “we have cameras, locks, keyed locks, push-button locks, lock locks…” The interviewer stepped into the cafeteria to view a peak of the behind the scenes action. There was a table piled to the ceiling with corn chips and potato sticks, next to it a wall-sized refrigerator jammed full of pepsi and a shelf full of visine eye drops that could make any CVS envious! He walked back into the room where he had been interviewing the previous employee, to hear him still talking… “…fried locks, broiled locks, steam-fried locks…” Overall, this was a day full of eye-opening experiences. Our country is truly lucky to have this much weed to give so many fried Americans job opportunities that are so necessary to counter today’s economic troubles!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Woman in Swimsuit Arrested after Chase...
Today in the news...
“A 50-mile, high-speed chase ended in Sacramento, Calif., Monday when a swimsuit-clad and barefoot driver surrendered to police. The woman, Annette Hurd, was allegedly fleeing the scene of a hit-and-run accident in Rio Vista in her red GEO Tracker. "I wasn't worried about me, I was worried about losing my dog," Hurd said she was a "little bit" intoxicated and tired after swimming all day and was worried that her small dog would be taken from her if she was arrested after the accident. She led the police on a chase at speeds topping 100 mph. Police used spike strips to destroy Hurd's tires, but finally managed to stop her when they used a patrol car to hit her vehicle."
...Editor Rozek’s Note:…Oh my! Well…This is truly an issue that faces society today. How can people be expected to drive the speed limit if policemen keep racing after them in hopes of capturing their dogs? I was drinking my face off and swimming one day (cause they always told me that I have to wait at least a half hour to go into the water after eating…they never mentioned alcohol), and upon scooping up my dog and putting her in the car, I had forgotten to put on my pants and shoes. Of course… I accidentally ran over something on the way! I just told you I was drunk! Duh!… Besides…what was that little old lady doing on the sidewalk anyway? It had been a really long day of recreational activity and I shouldn’t be expected to be clear of mind while this crazy Officer “Wicked Witch of the West” was tying to steal Toto! I’m pleading not guilty and requesting a supporting deposition from all the people at the pool, on the street, and the people who watched those darn law enforcement officers ruin my tires! I’ll show them how stupid they all look! Geez…
“A 50-mile, high-speed chase ended in Sacramento, Calif., Monday when a swimsuit-clad and barefoot driver surrendered to police. The woman, Annette Hurd, was allegedly fleeing the scene of a hit-and-run accident in Rio Vista in her red GEO Tracker. "I wasn't worried about me, I was worried about losing my dog," Hurd said she was a "little bit" intoxicated and tired after swimming all day and was worried that her small dog would be taken from her if she was arrested after the accident. She led the police on a chase at speeds topping 100 mph. Police used spike strips to destroy Hurd's tires, but finally managed to stop her when they used a patrol car to hit her vehicle."
...Editor Rozek’s Note:…Oh my! Well…This is truly an issue that faces society today. How can people be expected to drive the speed limit if policemen keep racing after them in hopes of capturing their dogs? I was drinking my face off and swimming one day (cause they always told me that I have to wait at least a half hour to go into the water after eating…they never mentioned alcohol), and upon scooping up my dog and putting her in the car, I had forgotten to put on my pants and shoes. Of course… I accidentally ran over something on the way! I just told you I was drunk! Duh!… Besides…what was that little old lady doing on the sidewalk anyway? It had been a really long day of recreational activity and I shouldn’t be expected to be clear of mind while this crazy Officer “Wicked Witch of the West” was tying to steal Toto! I’m pleading not guilty and requesting a supporting deposition from all the people at the pool, on the street, and the people who watched those darn law enforcement officers ruin my tires! I’ll show them how stupid they all look! Geez…
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Myanmar may rush democracy leader’s trial...
In the news today…Myanmar may rush democracy leader’s trial"The lawyers of San Suu Kyi have expressed that Myanmar’s military regime appears to be rushing a trial of the democracy leader. The statement was seen as a pretext for the government to keep the Nobel laureate jailed through elections next year. Suu Kyi, who has been in detention without trial for more than 13 of the past 19 years, had been scheduled to be freed May 27th. Suu Kyi has been accused of violating her house arrest after an American man swam to and entered her lakeside home without her permission."
…Editor Rozek’s note: If I had a dollar for every guy who swam to the door of my home, I would have millions! His family described him as a “well-intentioned admirer of Suu Kyi who merely wanted to interview her.” Yeah…I know…but do you think the lake was good for the laptop he carried in the inside pocket of his jacket? I can see him standing on the bank across the lake from the home calling out, “San! San-a boo-boo! I admire you! Let down your hair!” She ran to the window and threw up the sash… “Alas, ole bank standing admirer,…but I can not come out! This ankle bracelet prevents me from reaching out to you!” He contemplated for what seemed like no longer than a split second as he slipped his computer into his pocket, took of his shoes and leaped into the water to get the interview he so had longed for! The hundreds of police in full riot gear with rifles stood along the bank as San watched the man doggie paddling in the middle of the lake with rifles pointed at him! “Freeze!”, yelled the police. He yelled back… “I already am! This water is freakin’ cold!” The police fished him out of the water and confiscated his computer in search of details that may lead them to the reason why this Nobel Peace laureate would want to try to help anyone at all!
…Editor Rozek’s note: If I had a dollar for every guy who swam to the door of my home, I would have millions! His family described him as a “well-intentioned admirer of Suu Kyi who merely wanted to interview her.” Yeah…I know…but do you think the lake was good for the laptop he carried in the inside pocket of his jacket? I can see him standing on the bank across the lake from the home calling out, “San! San-a boo-boo! I admire you! Let down your hair!” She ran to the window and threw up the sash… “Alas, ole bank standing admirer,…but I can not come out! This ankle bracelet prevents me from reaching out to you!” He contemplated for what seemed like no longer than a split second as he slipped his computer into his pocket, took of his shoes and leaped into the water to get the interview he so had longed for! The hundreds of police in full riot gear with rifles stood along the bank as San watched the man doggie paddling in the middle of the lake with rifles pointed at him! “Freeze!”, yelled the police. He yelled back… “I already am! This water is freakin’ cold!” The police fished him out of the water and confiscated his computer in search of details that may lead them to the reason why this Nobel Peace laureate would want to try to help anyone at all!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Man is champion chicken for 9th year
"My dream when I was a kid was to do cartoon voices. It all kind of goes back to that," Hampton said.
During his winning cluck, Hampton scratched, pecked and clucked before perching on what appeared to be a large wooden roost and laying a spring-loaded fake egg the size of a small watermelon.
Editor Rozek’s Note: What the cluck? This may be the problem with the United States these days. People aren’t exactly getting smarter. We spend our time “clucking” and the Chinese spend their time learning additional languages and building cars.
During his winning cluck, Hampton scratched, pecked and clucked before perching on what appeared to be a large wooden roost and laying a spring-loaded fake egg the size of a small watermelon.
Editor Rozek’s Note: What the cluck? This may be the problem with the United States these days. People aren’t exactly getting smarter. We spend our time “clucking” and the Chinese spend their time learning additional languages and building cars.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Police dog hits woman with truck
Apparently a dog put a police car in gear and ran over a woman in her driveway and then hit another car. The woman suffered a broken pelvis and road rash.
Editor Rozek’s Note : Yep! You heard it right. Dogs are a man’s best friend but as for women…that must be why they are man’s best friend…
(Anyway…for future reference, my updates should be pretty accurate although I workout with CNN on and sometimes my stories get a little confused with the scrolling ticker along the bottom. That dog story may have been: Hezbollah headquarters in Beirut destroyed by Israeli jets- retaliation strikes inflict broken pelvis on attacker on foot- Israeli’s working like dogs to keep the rash of attacks to a minimum.You may want to consult a local paper before trusting the accuracy and starting up a conversation about current events.)
Editor Rozek’s Note : Yep! You heard it right. Dogs are a man’s best friend but as for women…that must be why they are man’s best friend…
(Anyway…for future reference, my updates should be pretty accurate although I workout with CNN on and sometimes my stories get a little confused with the scrolling ticker along the bottom. That dog story may have been: Hezbollah headquarters in Beirut destroyed by Israeli jets- retaliation strikes inflict broken pelvis on attacker on foot- Israeli’s working like dogs to keep the rash of attacks to a minimum.You may want to consult a local paper before trusting the accuracy and starting up a conversation about current events.)
Saturday, June 21, 2008
How much for date with Jessica Biel?
Money to help teenager who lost leg in accident
DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A date with Jessica Biel has raised $30,000 to help a teenager who lost her leg in a prom night limousine accident.
Biel, Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive" and a former "7th Heaven" star, "has this opportunity to create a buzz that would provide some support and she's more than happy to do that," her father, Jonathan Biel, told KMGH-TV. He said it was his daughter's idea to hold the auction for a lunch date.
Editor Rozek’s Note: My! Don’t we think highly of ourselves?
DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A date with Jessica Biel has raised $30,000 to help a teenager who lost her leg in a prom night limousine accident.
Biel, Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive" and a former "7th Heaven" star, "has this opportunity to create a buzz that would provide some support and she's more than happy to do that," her father, Jonathan Biel, told KMGH-TV. He said it was his daughter's idea to hold the auction for a lunch date.
Editor Rozek’s Note: My! Don’t we think highly of ourselves?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Michael Jackson sued by ex-wife Rowe
Mother of 2 children says she needs $245,000 to pursue her custody fight
Jackson agreed when they divorced to pay his ex-wife $1 million a year for the first three years after their split and $750,000 annually for six more years. Rowe also received a house in Beverly Hills and a 1998 Ford Explorer. She agreed to visit her children only once every 45 days, according to the lawsuit.
Editor Rozek’s Note: Can you say “iron clad pre-nup?” Hello!!! If a man has more than 1 dollar…don’t fall for that crap about “are we going into this expecting it to fail…wah wah…?” Pre-nup, pre-nup, pre-nup! Besides, as it turns out…and I didn’t know this…you can’t molest children no matter how rich you are. Apparently, it’s illegal.
Jackson agreed when they divorced to pay his ex-wife $1 million a year for the first three years after their split and $750,000 annually for six more years. Rowe also received a house in Beverly Hills and a 1998 Ford Explorer. She agreed to visit her children only once every 45 days, according to the lawsuit.
Editor Rozek’s Note: Can you say “iron clad pre-nup?” Hello!!! If a man has more than 1 dollar…don’t fall for that crap about “are we going into this expecting it to fail…wah wah…?” Pre-nup, pre-nup, pre-nup! Besides, as it turns out…and I didn’t know this…you can’t molest children no matter how rich you are. Apparently, it’s illegal.
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