Saturday, June 21, 2008

How much for date with Jessica Biel?

Money to help teenager who lost leg in accident
DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A date with Jessica Biel has raised $30,000 to help a teenager who lost her leg in a prom night limousine accident.
Biel, Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive" and a former "7th Heaven" star, "has this opportunity to create a buzz that would provide some support and she's more than happy to do that," her father, Jonathan Biel, told KMGH-TV. He said it was his daughter's idea to hold the auction for a lunch date.

Editor Rozek’s Note: My! Don’t we think highly of ourselves?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Michael Jackson sued by ex-wife Rowe

Mother of 2 children says she needs $245,000 to pursue her custody fight

Jackson agreed when they divorced to pay his ex-wife $1 million a year for the first three years after their split and $750,000 annually for six more years. Rowe also received a house in Beverly Hills and a 1998 Ford Explorer. She agreed to visit her children only once every 45 days, according to the lawsuit.

Editor Rozek’s Note: Can you say “iron clad pre-nup?” Hello!!! If a man has more than 1 dollar…don’t fall for that crap about “are we going into this expecting it to fail…wah wah…?” Pre-nup, pre-nup, pre-nup! Besides, as it turns out…and I didn’t know this…you can’t molest children no matter how rich you are. Apparently, it’s illegal.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Kiss fans protest outside Rock Hall

CLEVELAND, Ohio (AP) -- About 200 Kiss fans protested in front of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum to demand that the band be inducted into the hall.
Those participating in the half-hour demonstration were upset that the band, formed more than 30 years ago, has not been admitted, even though it has been eligible since the late 1990s.
The foundation that selects inductees is based in New York City, not at the museum.

Editor Rozek’s Note: Nice guys! Go to Cleveland dressed in Halloween costumes to protest something really important. Do you think that you could’ve mustered up a brain cell between the 200 of you to google the hall of fame foundation and at least gone to the right state? What’s next? Standing in front of some “white house” in PA to get a glimpse of President Bush?

Gas giveaway leaves a few drivers fuming

Gas giveaway leaves a few drivers fuming
But most wait patiently -- for hours -- to score free tank
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- Two car crashes occurred and four people were arrested in excitement over a gasoline giveaway Wednesday to reward the city for its safe-driving record.
Clarence Jefferson said he thought he'd be first in line when he got there at 4 a.m. -- but found hundreds of others already ahead of him. Pumps were turned on at about 6 a.m. Some motorists started lining up before midnight and the queue stretched far from the station into a residential area, trapping some residents in their driveways, said police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz.
That led to fights and arrests for disorderly conduct. In one case, three officers were sent to a hospital as a precaution because they were spattered with blood from someone's bloodied nose, Schwartz said.

Editor Rozek’s Note: uh huh. Here we go. Are you serious? I don’t even look at the gas prices. Why? What good does it do? I need gas in the car and I’m certainly not driving 40 miles one way for a cheaper price or sitting in line behind hundreds of people (probably with my engine idling so my air conditioner works) so I can get gas in the car. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Next time I hear of this however, I will drive there and hand out free calculators to each ignorant idiot so they can figure out their savings. I may even take a multi-media presentation with me to show them how to turn the calculator on.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Tyrannosaurs faced midlife crisis too

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Even the powerful tyrannosaurs seem to have encountered a midlife crisis
"Survivorship stabilized at between two and four percent per year until midlife at which point they went through an honest-to-God midlife crisis," Gregory M. Erickson, who teaches comparative anatomy at Florida State University, said in a telephone interview.

Editor Rozek’s Note: I don’t understand. I guess I’m not really clear on my prehistoric scientific facts but they had hookers and Porsche’s back then? Were they a lot bigger?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

The dog kingdom's Noah

Sam Bailey's life has gone to the dogs -- literally and figuratively. We met Sam at his new home, a FEMA trailer, in Pearlington, Mississippi, a town hit by the full force of Hurricane Katrina. The home he and his wife had lived in was destroyed by the storm and wreckage is still strewn throughout the property. Their new trailer is in their old yard, a yard they share with more than 50 dogs and cats.

He admits that some of his animals have "social" problems because of Katrina and are unlikely adoption candidates. Yet, he has a policy of not putting animals to sleep unless they are terminally ill. So Sam isn't quite sure what he's going to do with all the animals.

Editor Rozek’s Note: Oh my god. Enough! Put the stupid things to sleep. A trailer? Hello! It’s called natural selection…and as for the dogs and cats…